Ah, the modern love letter — or should I say, the modern minefield? Texting, our favorite form of communication, is basically a game of emotional charades with autocorrect as the unreliable referee. One “k” instead of “okay” can spark a full-blown existential crisis. Did they mean “k,” as in fine, whatever, or “k,” as in, "I’m driving, talk soon?" The digital age has given us a thousand emojis, yet somehow we’re still out here misreading tone like a bad psychic with poor Wi-Fi.
The trouble is that texting removes the music from the message. We don’t get the facial expressions, body language, or tone that clue us into what someone really means. When you’re face-to-face, you can tell if someone’s joking by the twinkle in their eye or the smirk that follows a sarcastic comment. But in a text? “You’re ridiculous” could mean you’re hilarious, you’re annoying, or I’m secretly in love with you but can’t admit it yet. We end up filling in the blanks with our own emotional weather report. Feeling happy? Everything reads light and funny. Feeling grumpy? Every word or phrase feels like a jab.
Then there’s punctuation — the tiny dots and lines that have somehow become emotional landmines. A period can sound cold. A lack of punctuation can seem rushed or dismissive. “Sure.” feels different from “Sure!” which feels different from “Sure…” One friend once told me she broke up with someone because he never used exclamation marks — she thought he was detached. Turns out, he was just a minimalist texter trying to save thumb energy. Sometimes our assumptions say more about us than the person on the other end of the chat bubble.
And let’s talk about the dreaded delayed reply. If someone doesn’t text back for six hours, our minds spiral: Did I say something wrong? Are they mad? Did their phone die? Did they? Meanwhile, they were probably just folding laundry or binge watching a show in peace. The anxiety of waiting for those three little dots to appear and then vanish might as well be a psychological thriller. We’ve started assigning emotional weight to response times that used to mean absolutely nothing back in the good old days of answering machines and “I’ll call you later.”
Maybe it’s time to give grace to our digital conversations — to stop assuming tone, stop mind-reading, and stop expecting everyone to communicate exactly like we do. Use more emojis if they help, clarify when things sound off, and for heaven’s sake, when it’s really important — just call. Because “LOL” will never replace hearing someone actually laugh, and no amount of perfectly timed punctuation can replace the warmth in a real human voice.
In Gratitude, KJ Landis
@superiorself on Instagram and X
@SuperiorSelf channel on YouTube
@superiorselfwithkjlandis on TikTok
[email protected]
Books available everywhere!
The trouble is that texting removes the music from the message. We don’t get the facial expressions, body language, or tone that clue us into what someone really means. When you’re face-to-face, you can tell if someone’s joking by the twinkle in their eye or the smirk that follows a sarcastic comment. But in a text? “You’re ridiculous” could mean you’re hilarious, you’re annoying, or I’m secretly in love with you but can’t admit it yet. We end up filling in the blanks with our own emotional weather report. Feeling happy? Everything reads light and funny. Feeling grumpy? Every word or phrase feels like a jab.
Then there’s punctuation — the tiny dots and lines that have somehow become emotional landmines. A period can sound cold. A lack of punctuation can seem rushed or dismissive. “Sure.” feels different from “Sure!” which feels different from “Sure…” One friend once told me she broke up with someone because he never used exclamation marks — she thought he was detached. Turns out, he was just a minimalist texter trying to save thumb energy. Sometimes our assumptions say more about us than the person on the other end of the chat bubble.
And let’s talk about the dreaded delayed reply. If someone doesn’t text back for six hours, our minds spiral: Did I say something wrong? Are they mad? Did their phone die? Did they? Meanwhile, they were probably just folding laundry or binge watching a show in peace. The anxiety of waiting for those three little dots to appear and then vanish might as well be a psychological thriller. We’ve started assigning emotional weight to response times that used to mean absolutely nothing back in the good old days of answering machines and “I’ll call you later.”
Maybe it’s time to give grace to our digital conversations — to stop assuming tone, stop mind-reading, and stop expecting everyone to communicate exactly like we do. Use more emojis if they help, clarify when things sound off, and for heaven’s sake, when it’s really important — just call. Because “LOL” will never replace hearing someone actually laugh, and no amount of perfectly timed punctuation can replace the warmth in a real human voice.
In Gratitude, KJ Landis
@superiorself on Instagram and X
@SuperiorSelf channel on YouTube
@superiorselfwithkjlandis on TikTok
[email protected]
Books available everywhere!
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