Let’s be honest: everyone farts. You, me, your boss, even that person who swears they "never do that." Sorry to break it to you, but gas is part of being human. The problem isn’t that it happens — it’s when it happens. Because there’s nothing quite like being in a crowded room, laughing at a joke, and suddenly feeling that familiar pressure building like a ticking time bomb. You start calculating escape routes, considering whether it’s better to risk a silent one or pray for a conveniently timed sneeze to cover your tracks.
Farting in mixed company is a social minefield. If you’re lucky, it’s silent and blame-free. If not… well, that’s when the real performance begins. You suddenly become an actor worthy of an Oscar — looking around the room like, “Who did that?” while desperately trying to appear innocent. Meanwhile, you’re sending silent telepathic messages to your stomach like, “Not now, please, I’m begging you.” But here’s the thing: holding it in only makes it worse. The gas doesn’t magically disappear. It just waits for a quieter, more disastrous moment.
Of course, there’s also that one brave soul who just owns it. You know the type — laughs, waves it off, and says, “Better out than in!” We could all learn a little something from them. Because honestly, pretending we’re above basic bodily functions is exhausting. Maybe the world would be a more relaxed place if we all just admitted we fart and moved on. Imagine how freeing that would be — fewer stomach cramps, fewer awkward silences, and a lot more laughter. I laugh at myself every day. Some days, it keeps me from being so frustrated with situations that I could cry.
The smell, frequency and even the temperature of your farts can vary based on your diet and digestion.
And as the festive season approaches, the treats and larger meals you indulge in might also lead your gut health to play up. Before we get into the nitty gritty, you might wonder what a fart actually is. Flatulence is gas that has made its way through our gastrointestinal system and is released through the rectum. The causes do vary, but it is often related to digestion, or swallowing air while eating or drinking. Here are some common types of farts:
1. Foul-smelling farts: Ever tried to secretly let a toot out, only to be hit by the whiff of rotting eggs?
This aroma is usually a result of sulphur-containing compounds produced during digestion.
If your eyes water whenever you let one out, it might be a sign you need to lay off certain high-sulphur foods like cauliflower, broccoli, cabbage and Brussels sprouts. Bacterial colonies in your gut could also be to blame.
2. Odorless farts: If, on the other hand, your toots have no smell, it’s probably a sign that you’re swallowing air while eating or drinking. Odorless farts usually consist of nitrogen, oxygen, carbon dioxide, and small amounts of other gases. This is the most common type of fart. Most of us eat too fast, or talk and eat at the same time, causing gas in the digestive system.
3. Excessive flatulence or bloating-related farts: If you experience frequent, excessive flatulence, it can feel like you need to go to the toilet more often. Your discomfort could have a few root causes. It might be because you’re eating gas-producing foods or it can be a sign that you have irritable bowel syndrome (IBS).
This is common condition affecting the digestive system that causes symptoms like stomach cramps, bloating, diarrhoea and constipation, which come and go over time. Lactose intolerance, which is when you can’t break down enzymes found in dairy – could also be the cause of your woes.
4. Hot farts: Farts that feel hot when you pass them can be caused by spicy foods. This type of gas occurs as a result of eating foods that are high in capsaicin, such as chillies or spices. Garlic, onions, peppers, ginger, and turmeric can also make our gas hot.
The next time you find yourself in a fartful situation, take a deep breath (of fresh air, hopefully) and remember that it happens to all creatures, big and small. Whether you own it, blame the dog, or make a graceful exit, you’re in good company. Life’s too short to stress over a little gas. Light incense or a candle essary, and carry on.
Sincerely,
KJ Landis
@superiorself on Instagram and X
@SuperiorSelf channel on YouTube
@superiorselfwithkjlandis on TikTok
[email protected]
Books available everywhere!
Farting in mixed company is a social minefield. If you’re lucky, it’s silent and blame-free. If not… well, that’s when the real performance begins. You suddenly become an actor worthy of an Oscar — looking around the room like, “Who did that?” while desperately trying to appear innocent. Meanwhile, you’re sending silent telepathic messages to your stomach like, “Not now, please, I’m begging you.” But here’s the thing: holding it in only makes it worse. The gas doesn’t magically disappear. It just waits for a quieter, more disastrous moment.
Of course, there’s also that one brave soul who just owns it. You know the type — laughs, waves it off, and says, “Better out than in!” We could all learn a little something from them. Because honestly, pretending we’re above basic bodily functions is exhausting. Maybe the world would be a more relaxed place if we all just admitted we fart and moved on. Imagine how freeing that would be — fewer stomach cramps, fewer awkward silences, and a lot more laughter. I laugh at myself every day. Some days, it keeps me from being so frustrated with situations that I could cry.
The smell, frequency and even the temperature of your farts can vary based on your diet and digestion.
And as the festive season approaches, the treats and larger meals you indulge in might also lead your gut health to play up. Before we get into the nitty gritty, you might wonder what a fart actually is. Flatulence is gas that has made its way through our gastrointestinal system and is released through the rectum. The causes do vary, but it is often related to digestion, or swallowing air while eating or drinking. Here are some common types of farts:
1. Foul-smelling farts: Ever tried to secretly let a toot out, only to be hit by the whiff of rotting eggs?
This aroma is usually a result of sulphur-containing compounds produced during digestion.
If your eyes water whenever you let one out, it might be a sign you need to lay off certain high-sulphur foods like cauliflower, broccoli, cabbage and Brussels sprouts. Bacterial colonies in your gut could also be to blame.
2. Odorless farts: If, on the other hand, your toots have no smell, it’s probably a sign that you’re swallowing air while eating or drinking. Odorless farts usually consist of nitrogen, oxygen, carbon dioxide, and small amounts of other gases. This is the most common type of fart. Most of us eat too fast, or talk and eat at the same time, causing gas in the digestive system.
3. Excessive flatulence or bloating-related farts: If you experience frequent, excessive flatulence, it can feel like you need to go to the toilet more often. Your discomfort could have a few root causes. It might be because you’re eating gas-producing foods or it can be a sign that you have irritable bowel syndrome (IBS).
This is common condition affecting the digestive system that causes symptoms like stomach cramps, bloating, diarrhoea and constipation, which come and go over time. Lactose intolerance, which is when you can’t break down enzymes found in dairy – could also be the cause of your woes.
4. Hot farts: Farts that feel hot when you pass them can be caused by spicy foods. This type of gas occurs as a result of eating foods that are high in capsaicin, such as chillies or spices. Garlic, onions, peppers, ginger, and turmeric can also make our gas hot.
The next time you find yourself in a fartful situation, take a deep breath (of fresh air, hopefully) and remember that it happens to all creatures, big and small. Whether you own it, blame the dog, or make a graceful exit, you’re in good company. Life’s too short to stress over a little gas. Light incense or a candle essary, and carry on.
Sincerely,
KJ Landis
@superiorself on Instagram and X
@SuperiorSelf channel on YouTube
@superiorselfwithkjlandis on TikTok
[email protected]
Books available everywhere!
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