We have evolved into an era where we do not spend all of our planning time on the primitive survival tactics. We are consumed with folly, and self deprecation too: Am I good enough? Did I do enough to feel good about my participation in X, Y, or Z? Do I show enough effort, compassion, and caring on a daily basis? Am I empathetic? Will I arrive on time? Did I make the right choice? Am I now too caring? Am I now codependent? Am I sabotaging myself and others with my thoughts, deeds, and words? Aaagh! I'll never be good enough to accomplish X, Y, or Z. Sometimes the negative biases are ingrained in our society for eons. Look at stereotypes of gender roles, for example... We identify certain tasks to men or women, boys or girls. It can wreak havoc in the mind. The negative mind and life is fear based.
Hello? Hello? Is anybody there? Is anybody reading this with an open mind, an open heart? Let us stop tormenting ourselves. I am here to tell you the negative biased living can stop. Fear does not have to be your foundation. It takes a new level of thinking, of reducing our dependence upon worry. Concern is not the same thing as worry. For example, I am concerned when my teenaged children go out to a party in the evenings. I trust in the ways my husband and I have parented them into a choice of safety (along with great fun). I am concerned if and when they don't check in with me after the agreed time of coming home. Worry will rear its head if they don't come home at all.
Yes, as a mama, I tend to spin the worst scenarios in my head unnecessarily and spiral into worry, worry, worry. It does me no good to live in that space though. Worry can feed off of that negativity and can create more and more negativity, getting out of control. How can we not allow the negativity to dominate, to control us, to become our food, drink, ruler, our daily bread?
Do something nice for someone else. It can be as simple as letting a stranger in line at the grocery store go ahead of you when they have only a few items in his or her hands. It can be as easy as cleaning up the sprinkle when you tinkle in a public restroom. The surprise of unexpected kindness for a stranger has a way of jolting us out of our negative comfort zone. For me, it is a sort of reset. I feel as if a veil has been lifted, and I am somewhat lighter.
We aren't meant to live in worry, self deprecation, and negativity. Happiness is our birthright, but that doesn't mean we do not have to actively work at it! Life is work! Love is challenging! Self love is even more difficult at times when we are living in negative domination. The true work of living here, now, has its share of battles and rewards. Let us roll up our sleeves together.