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How to Be an Active Listener

5/29/2017

When we are in communication with others it is difficult not to see the world through our own rose colored glasses. This is how we see the world, after all. But active listening requires a few moments of stepping back and removing ourselves from the equation. Take a few slow breaths through the nose only, inhaling and exhaling to the count of six. If someone is baring their souls or even their daily stresses with you, you owe it to them to give them your full attention. Ask yourself to step outside the box of "me, me, me, me, me, me" for just a little while. Pretend that you are your own best friend. What would you want for yourself? Then put the attention on that intention for them as well. That is true care and love.

We we are critical of ourselves and critical of the ones we love. I invite you to send the inner critic on a vacation to Tahiti. I know she will come back, uninvited (of course). I want to hear from you!
Blessings,
KJ Landis

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Soccer Mom vs Hot Mom

5/22/2017

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Five years ago I lost 50 pounds. I am definitely treated differently now, because then I was just a "soccer mom," looking like a lady. Now I'm the hot mom, and my kids are in middle school and high school. My son has become very protective over me around his friends, his friends' single dads, and anyone at the mall who stares at me too long. I don't even notice men in that way because I am happily married for over 28 years. I think once you find your soulmate you still appreciate beauty in other people, symmetry, and muscles but you don't chemically go after it in the same way as if you were single. My intention was to be healthy, lean, and fit like I was in my 20s when I was modeling. After two kids and a 50 pound slow weight gain I wanted to have my outside body match how amazing and beautiful I felt on the inside. Even when I was larger I was running marathons, teaching aerobics, and personal training other folks.

America is the largest country with obesity related conditions in the world but we still treat obese people in a different way than non obese people. Sometimes it is subtle and sometimes it is not subtle. Empathy is difficult if one has not been inside another's shoes literally. I think that is why Tyra Banks put on a fat suit years ago. She wanted to experience empathy.When you have made your shift, please write to me and tell me what you have experience from both sides of the coin. I want to know your thoughts.
Blessings,
KJ Landis

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Healthy Lunch Break Options

5/15/2017

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I lost 50 pounds of fat five years ago and have been able to keep it off in part by keeping my lunch time busy, very busy. I work evenings at the Hilton as a server and am a wellness coach in the daytime so my schedule varies during the day.

As I said the "regular" lunch times are kept healthy by being busy doing something other than eating. Most folks are not truly hungry at lunch anyway. If we are to figure out real hunger from social and emotional hunger, we could eat to hunger. So how do we do that? With water. I increase my water slowly over a month to about a gallon a day and then I can tell when I am truly hungry or not. I decided long ago not to give in to social pressures to eat. I would rather go on a race walk with girlfriends up the steepest hill or mountain instead for an hour now. Another tip is to "plank" on my break at work. I go into the locker room and do planks in one minute intervals. I also sleep! Napping is good for the metabolism. How about a meditation? I count up and down in my head from one to ten and back down to one, for two or three cycles. When I focus on the number it is a vacation from my life.

If I am truly hungry I eat. I never deny myself. I love high fat, good fat like raw cheeses and butter, nut butters, and cured meats. Sometimes I eat a giant apple slathered with raw coconut butter and pink Himalayan sea salt on it. Fat is good for us and when paired with fibrous foods, they can keep us full and fueled for hours.

I hope this helps! I want to hear from you. Please sign up for my newsletter on the contact form. Share my work with your friends.
Blessings,
KJ Landis

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Every Body is Beautiful

5/8/2017

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I was a model from age 4-35, but I wasn't the typical model. From age 7-12, I was quite large. My sister in law worked as a buyer for a department store in Pittsburgh, PA and got me jobs modeling for bridal shows. I was always the flower girl. By age 7, I was the cute and chubby side kick in the catalog shoots.

By age 12, the calls for jobs were less and less and this worked on my self esteem. My doctor told my parents I had an unhealthy cholesterol level, and the endocrinologist scared us.

Then from age 12-14 I focused on eating well and learned how to move my body for fun and self love. I took ballet and modern dance for the first time. I got my first ten speed bike. I became the youngest person ever to receive a personal trainer certificate and certified fitness trainer certificate on the East Coast, teaching a myriad of exercise classes at Elaine Powers and Bally's.

I grew 8 inches and my body changed. The modeling bookings came in again at a rapid speed but I still had school, movement classes, and choir. The most important thing for me in my teens wasn't how I looked. It was getting straight As in school and how I felt. Sure, I had slip ups and bouts with overeating and under eating in those days. Most teens experiment. Fortunately for me I wasn't experimenting with sex or drugs. (I was a virgin until my second year of university, by choice. I wanted to be in love.)

In my 40s I was running marathons and again teaching fitness classes while taking care of two children and working evenings serving food in a restaurant. I was perfect in my body proportions, but was 50 pounds heavier than I used to be. I felt like I wanted to have my outside match my inside. I felt so awesome, joyful, and abundant on the inside. I eventually made the food choices to have the outside match my inside. I lost the 50 pounds and am now helping others reach their superior selves with mindfulness, food choices, and movement. I am a research junkie, life and wellness coach, wellness workshop facilitator, author, motivational speaker, and creator of the Superior Self series. If I can do this, you can do this. If I am busy and still make the time for self love and self care every day, so can you.

It is important to me to share my stories with you. Read my older blogs. I am just like you. I still waitress at night to support my family. I help folks with lifestyle changes. It doesn't matter what shape or size one comes to me with as long as they are healthy and ok with themselves at the core. We must believe in the big WHY, use the Negative Thought Pot, and take baby steps toward a healthier life no matter what that looks like for them. It is unique for each individual.

I hope this helps!
Blessings,
KJ Landis

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From Victim to Victor

5/1/2017

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I was the victim of a hot water travel cup explosion.

I was heading by car on the freeway towards my daughter’s summer day camp for pickup. I went to take a sip of hot water out of my travel mug. The inner factory seal exploded upwards, and all of the contents cascaded upon my body.

I immediately thought of fire ants. The burning was so intense, but for a few seconds I didn’t realize that fire ants were not the cause of the heat sensation. I started slow, deep breathing in order to not have an accident on the freeway.

When I finally put cool water on my burns, I was at the closest gas station. I sat on the ground next to the building with the water flowing on my body from an outdoor spigot. I sat there in a daze with all of my clothes on. I was silent, I didn’t cry or scream, and I disappeared for a few minutes.

For a year or more afterwards, I had nightmares and flashbacks of the incident. I burst into night sweats often, and experienced rapid heart palpitations. My husband woke me up from a deep sleep often, telling me that I was crying in my sleep. My flashbacks varied in intensity, ranging in the length of time and the emotions accompanying them. I felt ugly from the scars and my self esteem began to slide. You see, I modeled all around the world from age 4-35. I began to feel the blues and slide into depression. I was scared.

Even to this day, every time I pass that particular gas station, the whole horrid accident reoccurs in my mind. My heart races, I begin to perspire, and I pray a prayer of grace. It could have been way worse.

After a year of these continued symptoms, I signed up for a trial series of Bikram hot yoga classes to see if it would help with my ugly scarring on my legs and stomach and my post traumatic stress symptoms.

The first three weeks of class were intense. The room is minimum 105 degrees Fahrenheit with 46% minimum humidity. The poses were tough, each one lasting 60 seconds and then the second set was about 30 seconds. The room was funky too, with an odor of vinegar and peanuts. But, I stuck with it.

After 3 weeks, my sweat didn't sting my eyes anymore. My sleep became restful once again, my grip more relaxed on the steering wheel when I drove. The yoga room stopped stinking. I can do the poses with intensity now so that when I focus, I leave everything else in my life behind. And that is a moving meditation.

After almost 4 years of yoga, the scars have faded, my muscles are beautiful and strong, my meditation is consistent, and I can leave what is outside of the yoga room, outside of the yoga room. It will be there when I am done. What a vacation from the rest of my life! I feel like I can do anything again, regardless of the scars. Due to my yoga practice, my inner confidence and peace outweighs the outer "stuff." Free at last.

I hope this helps others step up and not give up.
Blessings,
KJ Landis

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How to Be an Active Listener

Soccer Mom vs Hot Mom

Healthy Lunch Break Options

Every Body is Beautiful

From Victim to Victor

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