Superior Self

Is Watching Reality TV a Waste of Your Time?

6/15/2026

An ordinary evening can look deceptively simple: dinner dishes stacked neatly next to the sink, socks kicked off near the couch, the soft blue glow of the television filling the room, while strangers compete to become the next great singer, inventor, athlete, or overnight sensation. It is easy to criticize these moments as wasted time. Initial clinical studies on television watching and mental health often warned about excessive screen time being linked to anxiety, loneliness, reduced attention span, and depressive symptoms when viewing becomes passive or isolating. The story is more complicated than that. In more recent studies, psychologists have also found that shared entertainment, inspiration-based programming, and emotionally engaging stories can create feelings of belonging, optimism, and motivation. Maybe the question is not whether television is good or bad, but what part of the human spirit it awakens while we watch.

For me, I criticized my tween daughter watching others live their lives on YouTube while she was doing nothing with her own leisure time. I didn't get it. I also had 5 jobs and was in school at the time, always striving to learn something new and then get certified in that subject. The internet was at its beginning of content creators, and then turning themselves into inventors with brands of their own products with passions of their very own. She saw watching the YouTube videos as a learning tool, for makeup, exercise routines, testing new products so she (I), would not have to spend the money or time on them. Nowadays, with only 3 jobs, I actually have time to relax after work when I choose to, and binge watch reality shows. I also apologized to my daughter for judging her negatively during her YouTube binge watching years.

Reality competition shows, especially music, athletic, and invention programs, reveal something deeply hopeful about humanity. Watching an amateur singer step onto a stage trembling with fear only to discover a voice powerful enough to silence an entire audience reminds us that greatness often hides in ordinary people. The same is true for invention shows where creative minds solve practical problems with startling ingenuity. These programs may seem disposable on the surface, but they quietly showcase resilience, imagination, collaboration, and courage. Neuroscience studies suggest that emotionally meaningful storytelling activates mirror neurons and empathy networks in the brain, allowing viewers to emotionally experience the triumphs and struggles of others. In this way, television can become less about escape and more about connection to possibility itself.

There are evenings when I wonder if hours spent watching television could have been better spent reading, writing, or creating something tangible. Then, a young inventor presents an idea to clean polluted oceans, or a singer transforms heartbreak into art, and I feel something rare in modern life: hope. Not naïve hope, but evidence-based hope rooted in human creativity. We live in an age saturated with headlines about conflict, division, and technological fear, yet these small televised moments remind us that millions of people still wake up wanting to invent, compose, build, heal, create, and dream. The human brain remains astonishingly adaptive and imaginative. Even in entertainment, our species continues reaching for beauty and innovation.

Computers can process information faster than humans, but speed is not wisdom, intuition, or emotional meaning. Artificial intelligence can generate patterns, predict preferences, and imitate language, yet the human brain carries something far more mysterious: consciousness shaped by memory, suffering, joy, love, and imagination. A machine can analyze a melody, but it cannot feel what inspired the songwriter standing under the stage lights with tears in his or her eyes. Perhaps that is why these ordinary television evenings matter more than I usually admit. Beneath the commercial breaks and dramatic music lies a quiet reminder that humans are far smarter, kinder, and more creative than we often give ourselves credit for. Watching people sing, invent, move, and dare to never give up may not be a waste of time at all. It may be one of the ways we remember who we are becoming.

These tv shows are a reminder of our brilliance, our passions, commitments, desires, determinations, and dedications to the people and activities which we love. Remember, activities are medicine for the soul!

In Gratitude,
KJ Landis
@superiorself on Instagram and X
@SuperiorSelf channel on YouTube
@superiorselfwithkjlandis on TikTok
[email protected]
Books available everywhere!

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What is Faith-Based Therapy?

6/8/2026

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Navigating the complexities of modern life can often leave us feeling overwhelmed, anxious, and deeply isolated. From the relentless pressure of career demands to the quiet ache of fractured relationships, today's mental health challenges require more than just quick fixes—they call for a grounding of the soul. Integrating ancient biblical wisdom with contemporary therapeutic practices offers a profound pathway to healing. By viewing the books of Psalms and Proverbs through a psychological lens, we find that these sacred texts do not just offer theological truths; they provide a raw, honest blueprint for emotional regulation, cognitive reframing, and resilience.

I fell into the faith-based therapy world by accident. When I began working in the Acute Geriatric Behavioral Health Unit, I was empathetic with my patients to the point of absorbing a lot of their stories at a visceral level. I was a good listener, and cared So, my random teary-eyed self needed to learn how to create a boundary between work-life and the rest of my being. I needed a place to vent, to put my activities and reactions into categories and boxes, figuratively speaking. On the back of my insurance card was a phone number for Behavioral Health. I called the 1800 number and they sent me a list of therapists with numbers. They said one of the therapists would call me and interview me, and I was to interview them and see if we were a good fit. I was happy with the first therapist who caled. She was very experienced in the psych work world of an in-patient acute psych ward, and in childhood trauma such as mine (molestation from ages 7-16). So we began a telehealth relationship. It has been almost a year of working together.

Only after I accepted her as my therapist did I look her up on the internet. That was the moment I first saw the phrase "faith-based therapy." The Christian organizations where she was associated with, and her company, had been active and respected for years. My therapist was a world-wide speaker on many subjects, and had published 16 therapeutic self-help books over the years. She never told me she was a faith-based therapist. She never infiltrated our secular sessions with any biblical teachings. I was curious, so after researching her professionally, I began asking questions. She knew I was Jewish. Only after I specifically asked her about ways in which ancient scriptures could assist in my modern day personal issues, did she offer any guidance in that manner.

I am learning about my Torah teachings in a new way. I never read the Old Testament and interpreted them as a youth. As an Orthodox female Jewess, I was taught to memorize Hebrew prayers and their melodies orally, being taught in Hebrew School or Sunday school, without being guided to understand any of the translations. Those discourses were reserved for the males in our synagogue. Men and women were separated in the synagogue by a glass wall during services. Females were permitted to have their Bat Mitzvahs on Sundays only, because the Shabbat was too holy for us to stand on the elevated stage, the BEEMA. That spot was only for males who were being Bar-Mitzvahed, at age 13. Females were Bat-Mitzvahed at age 12 in the Orthodox tradition. Thirteen was too special for us girls to experience, we were told. It was the age reserved for males. I was eager to learn about my tradition with a new and open perspective. I am grateful for the "accidental" therapist, and the sprinkling of biblical scripture utilized as practical ways for my questions and concerns about my emotional life. It is another wellness tool for my personal toolkit.

From a therapeutic perspective, the book of Psalms serves as an extraordinary model for emotional processing and lament. In faith-based therapy, clients are often encouraged not to suppress their difficult emotions—such as anger, grief, or despair—but to name them and bring them into the light. The Psalmists did exactly this; they did not sanitize their pain. Psalms like Psalm 13 ("How long, Lord? Will you forget me forever?") mirror the therapeutic practice of somatic and emotional validation, allowing individuals to voice their deepest hurts. This raw expression, followed by an intentional shift toward remembrance and hope, mimics the cognitive-behavioral process of moving through distress rather than avoiding it, proving that faith and deep emotional vulnerability go hand in hand.

While Psalms provides the space to heal emotional wounds, the book of Proverbs acts as a manual for cognitive behavioral restructuring and behavioral activation. Proverbs is rich with practical behavioral therapy principles, focusing heavily on the power of our thoughts, words, and habits. For instance, Proverbs 4:23 admonishes us to "guard your heart above all else, for it determines the direction of your life"—a foundational concept in modern psychology, which recognizes that our core beliefs dictate our emotional and behavioral outcomes. Faith-based counselors utilize these proverbs to help clients identify cognitive distortions, cultivate mindfulness, and build healthy interpersonal boundaries, transforming ancient boundaries into actionable, modern self-care.

If you are currently walking through a season of anxiety or transition, please know that your pain is seen, and you do not have to carry it alone. Blending the spiritual comfort of Scripture with clinical therapeutic insights allows us to care for the whole person—mind, body, and spirit. As organizations like the Christian Association for Psychological Studies (CAPS) emphasize, true healing happens in community and through the integration of faith and behavioral science. Consider reaching out to a faith-based licensed professional counselor who can help you map these timeless truths onto your current struggles, taking small, compassionate steps toward a more peaceful and anchored life.

Blessings,
KJ Landis
@superiorself on Instagram and X
@SuperiorSelf channel on YouTube
@superiorselfwithkjlandis on TikTok
[email protected]
Books available everywhere!

Bibliography

American Association of Christian Counselors (AACC). (2014). Competency and clinical excellence in faith-based counseling: Integrating Scripture and evidence-based practice. Christian Counseling Today, 21(2), 14–18.
Christian Association for Psychological Studies (CAPS). (2020). The integration of faith and behavioral science: A therapeutic framework for clinicians. Journal of Psychology and Christianity, 39(3), 212–225.
Garzon, F., & Tilley, K. A. (2009). Doctrines of wisdom: Utilizing Proverbs in cognitive behavioral therapy. Journal of Spirituality in Mental Health, 11(4), 254–271.
Tan, S. Y. (2011). Counseling and psychotherapy: A Christian perspective. Baker Academic. (Chapter 8: Explicit integration of Scripture, prayer, and lament in inner healing).

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What is CRPS?

6/1/2026

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Complex Regional Pain Syndrome (CRPS) is a chronic, often progressive pain condition that most commonly affects a limb after injury, surgery, stroke, or prolonged immobilization. It typically presents in the hands, arms, feet, or legs with burning pain, swelling, color and temperature changes, and movement difficulties; less commonly it can affect the face, torso, or bilateral limbs. Triggers include obvious tissue trauma (fractures, sprains), surgical procedures, infections, casts or prolonged immobilization, and sometimes more subtle triggers such as minor nerve injuries or severe emotional or physical stress. Unusual presentations and rare triggers—vaccination, minor needle punctures, or visceral disease—are reported in case studies but are uncommon.

In my case, after my two complete knee replacement surgeries, several years ago, I was healing quite well, with full yoga mobility again, but the feeling from my knees to the feet was as if I had sunburn, all of the time. When I pressed my finger on my lower legs, a white fingerprint popped up, like I had been at the beach all day without my sunscreen. After a few months of recovery after surgeries, I went to the surgeon. He told me that CRPS was common after surgery. My nervous system was overactive in those areas. Emotional turmoil can trigger flare ups or increases of symptoms if one has CRPS 24/7 like I did. I also had numbness and tingling in the outer half of my feet, bilaterally. It is 5 years post-first-knee surgery, and I still have CRPS. With my newly diagnosed hyperthyroidism, my entire body now has the skin feeling like I have a sunburn. So, the whole central nervous system is overactive, caused by my overactive thyroid. Lucky me...I'm on fire!

CRPS incidence estimates vary (roughly 5–26 new cases per 100,000 people per year) and it most often affects women, with studies showing women are 3–4 times more likely to develop CRPS than men, and peak onset occurs in middle age. Diagnosis uses clinical criteria because no single test is diagnostic; delayed diagnosis is common and contributes to poorer outcomes. The condition can cause major functional loss and comorbid mood disturbance; early recognition and a multidisciplinary plan improve chances of recovery.

Treatment is multidisciplinary and individualized: active physical and occupational therapy (graded exercise, desensitization, mirror therapy, graded motor imagery), neuropathic and multimodal medications (gabapentin, pregabalin, certain antidepressants, judicious opioids), sympathetic blocks, spinal cord stimulation, and psychological therapies (CBT, pain coping skills). Some clinics offer less‑conventional or “unusual” therapies—high-dose vitamin C prophylaxis after fracture, bisphosphonates, topical ketamine, hyperbaric oxygen, or complementary approaches (acupuncture, psychotherapy, TENS)—with variable evidence; such options are generally considered when standard treatments fail and are best delivered within specialist centers.

Intravenous ketamine is used in Australia for refractory CRPS in specialist pain services and some private clinics; protocols vary but typically involve monitored infusions (low to moderate dose infusions over hours to days, sometimes repeated or as an inpatient under anesthetic supervision). Evidence shows ketamine can reduce pain and improve function for some patients, though effects may be temporary and risks (dissociation, cardiovascular effects, bladder toxicity with long-term use) require careful screening and monitoring. If considering ketamine, seek an experienced pain specialist to discuss likely benefits, risks, setting (inpatient vs outpatient), costs, and follow‑up. (FYI: In the USA, ketamine therapy has been used for depression in an in-patient injection setting while the patient is in an acute psychiatric setting.)

If any of these signs or symptoms plague your everyday life, and affect your quality of life, seek out professional help. For me, I am doing the best I can to manage the symptoms, and distracting myself from feeling sorry for myself with large doses of mindfulness, meditation, Gabapentin, yoga, hiking, loving relationships, prayer, and laughter.

I hope this information has helped you or those you care for in any way.

In Gratitude,
KJ Landis
@superiorself on Instagram and X
@SuperiorSelf channel on YouTube
@superiorselfwithkjlandis on TikTok
[email protected]
Books available everywhere!

Bibliography
- Harden RN, Bruehl S, Stanton-Hicks M, Wilson PR. Proposed new diagnostic criteria: Complex Regional Pain Syndrome. Pain Medicine. 2007; (Budapest Criteria).
- de Mos M, et al. The incidence of complex regional pain syndrome: a population-based study. Pain. 2007;129(1-2):12–20.
- Bruehl S. Complex regional pain syndrome. BMJ. 2015;351:h2730 (review of epidemiology and management).
- Goebel A. Complex regional pain syndrome in adults. Rheumatology (Oxford). 2011;50(10):1739–1750.
- Maneksha GS, et al. Intravenous ketamine for CRPS: systematic reviews and clinical reports (see national pain service guidelines). Australian and international pain-management center protocols (consult local specialist services for current Australian ketamine protocols and availability).
- Harden RN, Oaklander AL, Burton AW, et al. Complex regional pain syndrome: practical diagnostic and treatment guidelines, 4th edition. Pain Med. 2013;14(2):180–229.

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It's Not About the Yogurt

5/25/2026

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It was a lazy Saturday afternoon, and I was in the grocery store. A moment caught me off guard in the middle of the dairy aisle, of all places. I was standing there staring at a wall of yogurt, overwhelmed by choices that somehow all felt exactly the same. Greek, low-fat, non-fat, high-fat, high-protein, probiotic, plant-based—every container promising a better version of me. I stood there longer than necessary, comparing labels like the decision carried real weight, like picking the “right” one might quietly fix something bigger in my life.

I immediately was transported to January of 1989, just returning from seven months living in India. I was transfixed in the cereal aisle at the grocery store near my parent's home. There were so many brands and varieties, an abundance of options, and it overwhelmed me. In India, I had lived a simple life in a small dirt-paved neighborhood, at the edge of a small city. There were no grocery stores with options like this. I froze, just staring at each box and reading the labels, admiring the art. After some time, I left empty-handed.

And then it hit me—this wasn’t about yogurt. It was about the way I’ve been approaching so many parts of my life lately, believing there’s a perfect choice if I just think hard enough, research enough, optimize enough. As if there’s always a best answer, a most correct path, and if I miss it, I’ve somehow fallen short. Standing there in that fluorescent-lit aisle, I realized how exhausting that mindset is—how it turns even the smallest decisions into quiet pressure.

Back in '89, when I mused upon my American life of consumption, gluttonous ideals, and in-your face marketing, I felt a guilt of sorts. Who am I to have all these choices at my fingertips? What did I do to deserve this? I felt a sense of responsibility to make the "right" choice in the cereal aisle, as if there were internal judgements happening just under the surface of my consciousness. It was all too much to bear as I was assimilating back into the American lifestyle.

On that Saturday, many years later and after many experiences had, I learned lessons in my lifetime. So I reached out, grabbed one without overthinking it, and put it in my cart. Not because it was the best option, but because it was good enough. And oddly, that felt like a small act of rebellion. A loosening. A reminder that most choices don’t carry the weight I assign them, and that constantly searching for perfection can quietly steal the ease out of everyday living.

As I walked away, cartwheels rattling slightly beneath me, I felt lighter. The a-ha moment wasn’t about lowering standards or not caring—it was about trusting myself a little more, about recognizing that life isn’t a series of perfect selections but a collection of lived moments. And sometimes, peace looks like choosing the yogurt and moving on.

In Gratitude,
KJ Landis
@superiorself on Instagram and X
@SuperiorSelf channel on YouTube
@superiorselfwithkjlandis on TikTok
[email protected]
Books available everywhere!

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My Thyroid Journey

5/18/2026

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For ten years, it felt like I had an understanding with my thyroid. Living with Hypothyroidism meant I knew the rhythm—low energy, a slower metabolism, that lingering brain fog that no amount of coffee quite fixes. I had my routine, my medication, my expectations. Then something shifted. Not gradually in a way I could ignore, but in a way that made me stop and pay attention. My skin started to feel like it was burning to the touch, I was running to the bathroom constantly, sleep became almost impossible, and I’d wake up every hour with cramps in my calves, shins, and hamstrings. And underneath it all was this wired, restless feeling I didn’t recognize—one that started to look a lot like the opposite of what I’d been managing all these years, brushing up against symptoms of Hyperthyroidism.

What helped me make sense of it was understanding, in simple terms, what my thyroid actually does. It’s part of the Endocrine system—basically my body’s communication network for hormones. My thyroid produces Thyroxine and Triiodothyronine, which act like messengers telling my body how fast or slow to run. These hormones influence everything—my heart rate, how I use energy, digestion, body temperature, even my mood. And then there’s Thyroid-stimulating hormone, which comes from the brain and helps regulate the whole system. When it’s balanced, I feel like myself. When it’s not, it shows up everywhere—in ways that are hard to ignore. My mother had thyroid cancer when she was 51 years old, so I am more aware than most folks about the symptoms and when to see a doctor.

In my case, the shift wasn’t as dramatic as it first felt—it was more of a tipping point after years of stability. As I’ve gotten older, my body has changed. The dose of medication that worked for a decade may have quietly become too much. I also learned that conditions like Hashimoto’s thyroiditis can evolve over time, and in some cases even overlap with things like Graves’ disease. It reminded me that this isn’t a “set it and forget it” situation. My thyroid needs ongoing attention, small adjustments, and a willingness to notice when something feels off—even when it doesn’t match the symptoms I’m used to.

The turning point for me was listening to my body and actually following up with labs. A TSH test, along with T3 and T4 levels, helped explain what I was feeling. And thankfully, the fix wasn’t complicated—it came down to adjusting my dose of Levothyroxine and being more mindful about how I take it. The bigger realization—the real aha—was this: my thyroid health isn’t fixed, and that’s okay. It’s something I stay in conversation with over time. Paying attention, checking in, and making small changes has helped me move back toward that steadier place, where sleep comes easier, my body feels calmer, and I’m not fighting against it every hour of the night.

I hope this has helped you in any way.
Peace, out,
KJ Landis

Bibliography
American Thyroid Association. Thyroid Function Tests.
Garber, J. R., et al. Clinical Practice Guidelines for Hypothyroidism in Adults. Endocrine Practice.
Mayo Clinic Staff. Hypothyroidism and Hyperthyroidism Overview. Mayo Clinic.
National Institute of Diabetes and Digestive and Kidney Diseases (NIDDK). Thyroid Disease Information.
Brent, Gregory A. Mechanisms of Thyroid Hormone Action. Journal of Clinical Investigation.

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Small, Medium, Large, or Peaceful?

5/11/2026

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For so many of us humans, being thin wasn’t just a preference—it was practically a full-time job. I was born n 1965, and grew up absorbing glossy images from magazines, watching impossibly sculpted bodies on screens, and quietly measuring myself against standards that were never designed to be met. The financial world had the 99% and the 1%. So did the entertainment, beauty, and fashion industry. Somewhere along the way, thinness became tangled up with worthiness. Even some job opportunities were measured upon the weight on the scale. I counted calories like currency, negotiated with mirrors, and told myself that happiness lived just five or ten pounds away. It wasn’t vanity—it was survival in a culture that kept moving the finish line. As an obese child from about age five through about thirteen, I heard my parents' friends and my large extended family members say at celebrations, "Such a pretty face. If only she lost the weight, she would be beautiful." They unashamedly stated these sentences aloud to my parents and to each other, gossiping as if I were not in the room, the ballroom, the synagogue, the picnic. I know I am not alone.

My mother put me on the same diets she tried as an adult, garnished from magazines and not from the doctors' office. On the flip side of that, food equaled love in my family. I was loved a lot. If we kids ate our entire meal, we were given a reward of dessert, at every meal. For each "A" made on our report card, we earned either a dime or a trip to the ice cream and candy store. Love, food, education, and status within the family were all too muddled. At age twelve, my mother took me to an endocrinologist, a nutritionist, and a heart doctor. My cholesterol was off the charts. One of the doctors stated to my mother in an accusing tone, "Your daughter is liable to have a heart attack within the next two years at these levels of results." I also had chronic pain in my lower back, no formal sports or exercise routine, and loved to read for hours at a time, nestled in my bed.

We then went on the education and guidance journey with dieticians, nutritionists, and a with a calorie counting book found in every grocery store and pharmacy. I was taught to do sit ups for protecting my lower back, and taught to do jumping jacks and jump rope for cardio exercise. I had to keep a food diary daily for years. From age twelve to fourteen, I lost forty pounds and grew eight inches. I memorized the calorie counting values assigned to each food in that little book. It was like a bible to me.

Fast forward forty years. Time, in its steady and unapologetic way, shifted the conversation. The goalposts moved. Suddenly it wasn’t about thigh gaps or flat stomachs—it was about gravity, wondering when everything started heading south and if there was any way to politely ask it to stop. My social circle traded in our obsession with the scale for a new kind of vigilance: posture, strength, the quiet panic of a sneeze that requires strategic planning. Our mammaries, once scrutinized for size, seemed to be in a slow migration downward towards the knees. And the pelvic floor? No one warned us it would one day demand as much attention as our waistlines once did. My girlfriends, female cousins, and I joked about these issues to cover up our internal fear.

Fast forward ten more years. Even that phase, with all its indignities and humor, didn’t last forever. If we’re lucky, truly lucky, something softer begins to take root. The urgency fades. The constant self-evaluation and self-deprecation loosens its grip. We begin to see our bodies less as problems to fix and more as miraculous companions that have carried us—through love, loss, childbirth, heartbreak, body break, healing, and everything in between. The lines, the softness, the changes I resisted for so long at the beginning of my life started to feel like markings of a life actually lived, not one spent chasing approval. I was able to guide others towards their better selves with my personal experiences and lessons learned from them.

And then, almost unexpectedly, peace arrived. Not the loud, triumphant kind, but a quiet acceptance that settled in my bones, literally and figuratively. With eight major surgeries, replaced body parts, and titanium and steel as my new BBFs (body's best friends), I began to appreciate my body not as a project, but as an artistic vessel—imperfect, evolving, and deeply human. I moved differently, thought differently, and even looked at myself in the mirror differently. The flaws did not disappear, but they lost their power. What remained is something far more valuable: a sense of home within myself. After all those years of striving, that might have been the most beautiful transformation of all. I loved myself into a better existence.

I invite you to do the same. Love yourself into a better existence, whatever that means to you.

In Gratitude,
KJ Landis
@superiorself on Instagram and X
@SuperiorSelf channel on YouTube
@superiorselfwithkjlandis on TikTok
[email protected]
Books available everywhere!

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An Ordinary Saturday...

5/4/2026

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It was late afternoon on a Saturday, just after a rain shower, much needed in drought-ridden Northern California—the kind that doesn’t quite commit to evening yet. It was the in-between hour, where the light shifted almost without me noticing as it stretched across the living room floor, turning everything a little softer around the edges. In my home, we call that the golden time of day.

I wasn’t doing anything particularly meaningful, just folding laundry. An ordinary pile of tee-shirts, leggings, pajamas, and socks somehow made it back together, along with a sweatshirt that I wore more than I'd like to admit, part of my yoga days' uniform. This was the kind of task I usually rushed through or paired with something else—music, a podcast, watching a show on my cell phone, anything to make it feel less like another mundane chore (that one day would have humans replaced with inexpensive robots doing my housework).

But today, it held my attention. There was something quietly grounding about folding the clothes: the repetition of it, the way each piece seemed to ask for just enough care—smooth this out, line that up, stack it neatly. It wasn't exciting, but it wasn't boring or unnoticeable either.

I noticed how warm everything still felt as I carried the bundle up from the basement, not using the laundry basket on purpose, because I enjoyed the warm clothes heating up my torso as I hugged all of the bits close to my belly and chest, and also because the laundry pile carried a trace of the dryer aromas within it. I observed how the fabric changed depending upon what it was—some soft and worn, others still holding onto a bit of structure. I thought about how often I moved through my daily routines and rituals without actually observing and acknowledging them, without letting them register for a moment.

I spend a lot of time teaching others how to practice and process mindfulness daily, to observe the present moment through movement or meditative practices, yet not stopping the internal race long enough or often enough to do the same for myself. We humans often think life is somewhere else, in bigger plans, in future versions, in activities, in relationships, and in material things that haven’t manifested yet.

But here I was, on a late Saturday afternoon, folding a shirt I’ve worn a hundred times, and for a moment my life felt… complete. There was no swelling orchestra, no grand, cinematic activity. There was a mountain of laundry, quietly finished. This small act had a beginning, a middle, and an end—and I was actually present for all of it.

It made me realize how rarely I let things be enough just on their own. I’m always layering meaning on top of moments, or worse, diminishing or dismissing them entirely because they don’t seem meaningful enough. It was when I left the USA for years and traveled to other countries for work and pleasure that I thoughtfully absorbed each experience of each day with gusto, thirst, patience, and appreciation. Maybe meaning isn’t something we add on to each experience of each day. Maybe it is something that shows up when we finally stop trying to get past where we are.

By the time I finished the laundry, the light had shifted again. The room looked different, even though nothing had really changed. The folded stacks sat there—quiet proof that something had been done, cared for, completed. I was a success, a yes, an accomplishment, in that small house task. I didn’t feel behind, hurried, or like I needed to be somewhere else.

It wasn’t a big moment, but it didn’t feel small either.

Thank you for reading this.
Sincerely,
KJ Landis
@superiorself on Instagram and X
@SuperiorSelf channel on YouTube
@superiorselfwithkjlandis on TikTok
[email protected]
Books available everywhere!

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The Exhale

4/27/2026

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There are moments in life when a single word carries the weight of months—sometimes years—of stress. For us, that word was “approved.” After four long months of phone calls, appeals, resubmitted paperwork, second opinions, and more time on hold than I care to admit, the insurance company finally said "yes." Yes, they would cover his surgery. Yes, they would allow it at the out-of-network facility we knew was the right place. I didn’t cry right away. It was more like my whole body exhaled at once, a quiet, full-body surrender after being clenched tightly for far too long.

The days leading up to surgery felt surreal, like we had almost crossed an invisible finish line only to find another one waiting. There was relief, yes—but also fear, anticipation, and that strange calm that settles in when you know something big is coming towards you and there’s no turning back. The morning of the surgery, just two hours before the scheduled surgery check-in was to occur at a hospital almost an hour away from our home, we received the final phone call with a "yes."

From that moment on, we raced off to fight the morning rush-hour traffic. We were moving quickly, but oddly enough, everything felt as if we were moving in slow motion.

Hospital lights are always a little too bright, the air a little too cold. After hours waiting in the preoperative bay, I watched him get wheeled away, offering a smile that I hoped looked reassuring, holding back the tidal wave of what-ifs that tried to creep in. It’s a particular kind of helplessness, loving someone and having to hand them over to strangers in scrubs and trust that they’ll bring him back to me, fixed up. It was reminded of the children's nursey rhyme of Humpty Dumpty, but with a better ending. I could not bring myself to leave the area, and wandered around the unfamiliar city of Fremont for hours.

When the surgeon finally came out and called me with the words “everything went well,” it felt like a second, deeper exhale—the one I didn’t realize I was holding even tighter than the first. Relief washed in, but it was layered with exhaustion, gratitude, and a kind of emotional whiplash. After months of fighting, advocating, and pushing, suddenly there was nothing to fight. Those words were replaced with recovery, healing, and the quiet, steady work of putting one foot in front of the other again, literally and figuratively. I bought myself a hot chai at a beautifully decorated Indian cafe, walked back to my car and drove home to feed the cats their dinner.

And that’s where a different role began—the one no one really prepared me for. Caretaking isn’t glamorous. It’s medication schedules, watching for signs of pain, helping him sit up, adjusting the pillows under his legs, bringing ice packs every few hours, making sure he eats, sleeps, and heals. Caretaking was being strong while I was still tired myself, being patient when both of us were energetically stretched thin. But it’s also deeply human. There’s a closeness in these moments, a tenderness in the ordinary acts of care. Both of us slept at least 12 hours those first two nights at home from the hospital.

After everything it took to get there, showing up for him in this way didn’t feel like a burden—it felt like the quiet privilege of loving someone for decades, through the hardest parts and finally, finally, moving towards something better, together.

With love,
KJ Landis
@superiorself on Instagram and X
@SuperiorSelf channel on YouTube
@superiorselfwithkjlandis on TikTok
[email protected]
Books available everywhere!

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Lessons from the Kitchen Sink

4/20/2026

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This morning I almost cried over a coffee mug, not because of anything dramatic. It was just because it slipped.

I was standing in my kitchen, at the sink, still in my pajamas, the light barely coming through the San Francisco fog outside. The house was quiet except for the hum of the refrigerator and the low, grumpy gurgle of the espresso maker warming up the water. I remember thinking how that sound felt like permission to start the day. I reached for my favorite mug—the chipped white one with the faded red rim—and my hand was still damp from washing it. It slid. Not a cinematic crash. Just a dull clunk against the counter, a wobble, and then—down.

It didn’t shatter. But the handle snapped clean off.

I stood there staring at it on the kitchen floor, heart thudding like I’d dropped something irreplaceable. Which, I guess, I had. It’s the mug I use when I need comfort. It's the one that fits perfectly in my hand, the one that has witnessed deadlines, grief, laughter, illness, recovery, love, and those early mornings when I had to convince myself to try again.

I actually said, out loud, “Oh, come on,” like the universe had personally targeted my coffee ritual.

In the house next door, I heard someone start the shower and flush the toilet. I heard pipes rattling, a constant reminder that all the houses in our neighborhood touch one another on both sides. A car alarm chirped outside. Life continued, unimpressed with my small tragedy. I crouched down, picked up the mug in one hand and the broken handle in the other. The break was clean, almost neat. For a second I considered gluing it. For another second, I felt ridiculous for even caring this much. It's a mug...

What happened next is what surprised me: I suddenly realized that I wasn’t upset about the mug. I realized that I was ever so tired. The kind of tired that sneaks up quietly. The past 4 months of writing the insurance companies letters and contacting COOs and state health departments in order to reverse my husband's denied surgery coverage was wearing me down slowly. The broken handle just cracked open that feeling.

So I made a choice. I poured the coffee into a plain glass instead, a clear bartender's shaking glass. It felt wrong—too hot to hold comfortably, too transparent. I could see the swirl of cream settling. I wrapped both hands around it anyway and stood by the living room window.

The fog was lifting a little. The sky was slowly deciding to be blue. I realized something small but steady: the coffee still tasted the same. The day didn’t collapse. The world didn’t punish me for breaking something. I can lose a handle and still hold what matters most closest to my heart.

I rinsed the broken mug pieces and set them on the counter. Maybe I’ll glue it. Maybe I won’t. Either way, I drank my coffee. I breathed in the steam. I watched the light change, and I carried on with my day, with my head up.

Ordinary morning.

One broken handle.

And somehow, a tiny reminder that I’m allowed to be fragile and still function.

That felt like enough.

Sincerely,
KJ Landis
@superiorself on Instagram and X
@SuperiorSelf channel on YouTube
@superiorselfwithkjlandis on TikTok
[email protected]
Books available everywhere!

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Swollen Eyelids? Don't Panic...

4/13/2026

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I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror the other day, and—wait, what? One eyelid was suddenly swollen, like it showed up to the day before the rest of my face had a chance to vote on it. It felt a little tender, and in pain, throbbing. Other eye issues may include feeling itchy, or just heavy and off. Sometimes there’s mild redness or watering, and occasionally that annoying gritty sensation, like something is stuck in the eye. The strangest part is how it’s just one eye, perfectly mismatched with the other, which is carrying on like nothing happened.

The good news is that a swollen single eyelid is usually caused by something pretty common and manageable. A blocked oil gland can lead to a stye or chalazion (a small cyst), both of which are more annoying than dangerous. Allergies are another frequent culprit, especially as our bodies become a bit more sensitive over time. Even a tiny irritant—makeup residue, skincare products, or rubbing the eye too hard—can trigger swelling. And yes, sometimes it’s as simple as fluid retention or even a small insect bite in the most inconvenient place possible. As we get older, the skin around our eyes becomes thinner and more delicate, so it doesn’t take much to create a visible reaction.

Most of the time, one can manage this at home without too much fuss. A warm compress applied gently to the eye for about 10–15 minutes can help if a gland is blocked, while a cool compress may soothe swelling caused by allergies or irritation. It’s wise to skip eye makeup for a few days and keep hands away from the area, even though that’s easier said than done. Gentle cleansing of the eyelid with diluted baby shampoo or pre-moistened lid wipes can also help. Staying hydrated and getting enough rest gives the body a better chance to settle things down naturally, which it often does within a few days.

That said, it’s important to know when to take things a step further. If the swelling becomes more painful, starts to interfere with vision, or is accompanied by fever or spreading redness, it’s time to contact a doctor. The same goes if the swelling doesn’t improve after a few days or keeps coming back. While most cases are harmless, infections or more serious conditions do happen and require proper medical treatment. Trust your instincts—if something feels off beyond a simple irritation, it’s always worth getting it checked out.

Sincerely,
KJ Landis
@superiorself on Instagram and X
@SuperiorSelf channel on YouTube
@superiorselfwithkjlandis on TikTok
[email protected]
Books available everywhere!

Bibliography:
American Academy of Ophthalmology. Eye Health: Swollen Eyelids. American Academy of Ophthalmology, 2023.
Mayo Clinic Staff. Stye (Sty) and Chalazion. Mayo Foundation for Medical Education and Research, 2022.
Cleveland Clinic. Swollen Eyelid: Causes and Treatment. Cleveland Clinic Foundation, 2023.
National Eye Institute. Common Eye Conditions and Symptoms. U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, 2022.

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Catatonia versus Coma

4/6/2026

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Catatonia vs. Coma: What’s the Difference, Really?
If you’ve ever heard the terms catatonia and coma used interchangeably, you’re not alone—but they’re actually very different conditions. On the surface, both can look similar: a person may be still, unresponsive, and unable to communicate. But what’s going on inside the brain and body is completely different. Understanding that difference can be incredibly important, especially in medical settings where the right diagnosis can change everything about treatment and recovery. If you are the loved one of someone suffering from either, you need to have some information to be an advocate for your loved one's health.

Catatonia is a neuropsychiatric condition, often linked to severe mental health disorders like depression, bipolar disorder, or schizophrenia—but it can also show up in medical illnesses. Someone with catatonia might not move, speak, or respond, but here’s the key: they are not unconscious. In some cases, they are aware of their surroundings but feel “stuck,” unable to act. Others may show unusual movements, like holding a rigid pose for long periods or mimicking speech and gestures. The good news? Catatonia is often treatable, sometimes dramatically so, with medications like benzodiazepines or even electroconvulsive therapy (ECT).

A coma, on the other hand, is a true state of unconsciousness. The brain is not processing the world in a meaningful way, and the person cannot be awakened. Comas are usually caused by physical injury or illness—think traumatic brain injury, stroke, lack of oxygen, or severe infections. Unlike catatonia, where the brain’s “motor system” is essentially frozen, a coma reflects a deeper level of brain dysfunction. Recovery can vary widely: some people wake up, some transition into other states of consciousness, and others may not recover at all.

So while both conditions may look like stillness from the outside, they live on very different ends of the medical spectrum. Catatonia is often reversible and tied to psychiatric or systemic conditions, while coma is a critical neurological emergency. The takeaway? Stillness doesn’t always mean unconsciousness—and assuming so can delay life-changing treatment. In healthcare, especially in settings like geriatric or psychiatric care, recognizing catatonia can be the difference between a patient being “written off” and one who gets their life back.

I hope this has helped you in any way.
Sincerely, KJ Landis
@superiorself on Instagram and X
@SuperiorSelf channel on YouTube
@superiorselfwithkjlandis on TikTok
[email protected]
Books available everywhere!

Bibliography

American Psychiatric Association. Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5-TR).
Fink, M., & Taylor, M. A. (2003). Catatonia: A Clinician’s Guide to Diagnosis and Treatment. Cambridge University Press.
Cleveland Clinic. “Catatonia: Symptoms, Causes, and Treatment.”
National Institute of Neurological Disorders and Stroke (NINDS). “Coma Information Page.”
Mayo Clinic. “Coma: Symptoms and Causes.”

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Polarizing Times

3/30/2026

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We are living in a time when it can feel like the emotional temperature of the country is set to “boiling.” Cable news shouts. Social media amplifies outrage. Family dinners can turn into debate stages. Whether you lean left, right, center, or feel politically homeless, the constant friction can seep into your nervous system. Managing day-to-day life in a divided nation isn’t about pretending differences don’t exist. It’s about protecting your peace while still participating in society with integrity.

First, we have to manage our inputs. The 24-hour news cycle, fueled by outlets like Fox News and CNN, is designed to keep us engaged — and heightened. Add the algorithmic intensity of Facebook or X, and it becomes easy to confuse constant exposure with civic responsibility. It’s not. Curate your media diet the same way you would your food. Set specific times to check news. Diversify sources. Turn off notifications. Your brain deserves intervals of quiet so it can metabolize information instead of living in perpetual fight-or-flight.

Second, tend to your immediate ecosystem. Polarization thrives in abstraction; connection grows in proximity. The person bagging your groceries, your walking buddy, your neighbor who waters your plants — these are real human beings, not avatars of ideology. You don’t have to agree on everything to exchange kindness. Small acts of civility are not trivial; they are stabilizing forces. Research in social psychology consistently shows that interpersonal contact reduces hostility and increases empathy. When national rhetoric feels dehumanizing, doubling down on local humanity becomes a form of resistance.

Finally, ground yourself in daily rituals that reinforce agency. Cook a meal. Move your body. Call a friend who makes you laugh. Volunteer for a cause aligned with your values. Division often makes us feel powerless, but meaningful action — even small action — restores a sense of control. You cannot single-handedly repair the political climate, but you can regulate your nervous system, strengthen your relationships, and live your values consistently. In divided times, stability is not found in winning arguments; it’s built quietly, day by day, in how we choose to show up.

In Gratitude, KJ Landis
@superiorself on Instagram and X
@SuperiorSelf channel on YouTube
@superiorselfwithkjlandis on TikTok
[email protected]
Books available everywhere!

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New Hope for Hair Thinning

3/23/2026

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New Hope Beyond Minoxidil and Finasteride

For decades, minoxidil and finasteride have been the go-to approved medications for hair thinning and androgenetic alopecia (pattern hair loss). Minoxidil—usually applied topically—can modestly increase hair count by promoting blood flow to dormant follicles, while finasteride reduces the hormone DHT that contributes to follicle miniaturization. However, these treatments often require long-term use, and finasteride comes with potential hormonal side effects that make it unsuitable for some people, particularly many women of childbearing age. As a result, both patients and researchers have sought alternatives that are safer, more effective, and capable of stimulating true regrowth rather than merely slowing loss.

Emerging Drugs and Novel Topicals

In the last few years, several next-generation pharmacological options have entered clinical trials. One standout is clascoterone, a topical androgen receptor blocker showing promising results in large phase III trials for male pattern hair loss. Unlike older hormonal drugs, clascoterone targets androgen activity directly in the scalp with minimal systemic absorption, offering hope for regrowth with fewer side effects. Other investigational molecules, such as GT-20029 (a PROTAC-based androgen receptor degrader) and PP405 (a small molecule designed to awaken dormant follicle stem cells), are advancing through clinical stages and could represent future hair regrowth paradigms if approved. Meanwhile, new systemic biologics like ABS-201, an AI-designed antibody against the prolactin receptor, aim to reactivate follicles at a molecular level.

Regenerative and Combination Approaches

Beyond drugs, regenerative medicine is reshaping how clinicians think about hair restoration. Treatments like platelet-rich plasma (PRP) and photobiomodulation (low-level laser therapy) already have clinical use for androgenetic alopecia and alopecia areata, leveraging growth factors and light-induced cellular signaling to spur follicle activity. More recently, research into stem cells and exosomes—small extracellular vesicles that can carry growth-promoting signals—has shown potential in early studies to enhance follicle repair and reduce inflammation. While these modalities are still experimental and require more rigorous clinical evidence, they represent an exciting, biology-based frontier for those who haven’t responded to conventional therapies.

A New Frontier: Wearable Light Therapy for Hair Growth

In recent years, wearable light-therapy devices like caps and helmets have emerged as an intriguing non-invasive option for people experiencing thinning or balding. These devices use low-level laser therapy (LLLT) — a form of red or near-infrared light that penetrates the scalp to stimulate cellular energy in hair follicles, potentially encouraging growth and reducing shedding. Clinical research and dermatologists alike note that consistent use over several months (often 4–6 months or more) may lead to measurable improvements in hair density and follicle health, especially when started in the early stages of hair loss rather than later, advanced balding. While outcomes vary and results aren’t instant, LLLT hats are appealing because they can be used hands-free at home and are generally well-tolerated without the side effects associated with some medications.
For those curious about trying light therapy, here are some popular options that use this technology:

HigherDOSE Red Light Hat – A well-reviewed red-light cap that’s comfortable and portable for daily use.
Hooga Red Light Therapy Hat – Highly rated wearable option with strong user feedback.
LED Therapy Cap – Uses LLLT to stimulate follicles and can integrate into regular routines.
iRestore Professional Laser Hair Growth System – A more advanced laser system with an adjustable fit and established clinical backing.
Swirise Red Light Therapy Cap – A budget-friendly, highly rated choice with excellent reviews.
Other wearable light options include 216‑led Red Light Therapy Hat, KTS Laser Hair Regrowth Cap, and Bon Charge Red Light Cap, offering a range of price points and LED/laser configurations.

While evidence supports LLLT’s potential to improve blood circulation, cellular metabolism, and follicle stimulation, it’s worth noting that results are gradual and best seen with consistent, long-term use. Pairing these wearable therapies with other treatments — like topical minoxidil or regenerative approaches discussed earlier — may enhance overall outcomes.

What This Means for People Balding Today

The landscape for hair loss treatments is more active than it’s been in decades. Established therapies still play a crucial role, but these next-wave options—from novel targeted drugs and biologics to regenerative therapies—promise more personalized and potentially more effective strategies for both men and women. As always, outcomes vary with the cause of hair loss (e.g., hormonal vs. autoimmune) and the individual’s biology. Consulting a dermatologist or trichologist remains essential to tailor a treatment plan that reflects both current evidence and the latest scientific advances.

I hope this has given you some hope in your hair journey. Remember, as always, it is what is on the inside of us that counts the most.

In Gratitude,
KJ Landis
@superiorself on Instagram and X
@SuperiorSelf channel on YouTube
@superiorselfwithkjlandis on TikTok
[email protected]
Books available everywhere!

Bibliography

Recent Advances in Drug Development for Hair Loss. Int. J. Mol. Sci. (2025).
Hair Loss Treatment in 2026: The Evidence-Based Decision Framework. Charles Medical Group (2026).

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Oregano Oil to the Rescue?

3/16/2026

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Oregano oil has become the scrappy little superstar of the supplement aisle. Extracted from the leaves of Origanum vulgare, true oregano oil (not to be confused with the culinary herb sprinkled on pizza) is rich in active compounds like carvacrol and thymol. These phytochemicals are responsible for oregano oil’s antimicrobial, antifungal, and antioxidant properties. In laboratory studies, carvacrol has demonstrated activity against certain strains of bacteria, including E. coli and Staphylococcus aureus, as well as some fungi like Candida albicans (Nostro et al., 2007; Sharifi-Rad et al., 2018). That’s why you’ll often see oregano oil marketed for immune support, gut health, and respiratory concerns.

When it comes to gut health, oregano oil is frequently promoted as a “natural antibiotic.” Some small studies suggest it may help reduce certain pathogenic bacteria and parasites in the digestive tract. For example, one small human study found oregano oil supplementation reduced symptoms in patients with intestinal parasites (Force et al., 2000). Its antioxidant properties may also help reduce oxidative stress, which plays a role in chronic inflammation and aging (Sharifi-Rad et al., 2018). That said, most of the robust evidence we have is from in vitro (test tube) or animal studies. Human trials are still limited, and oregano oil should not replace prescribed treatments without medical supervision.

Now for the part supplement companies don’t always highlight: oregano oil is potent. Undiluted oregano oil can irritate the skin, mouth, esophagus, and stomach. High doses may cause gastrointestinal upset, nausea, or even allergic reactions—especially in individuals sensitive to plants in the Lamiaceae family (like mint, basil, or sage). Because oregano oil has antimicrobial properties, overuse may also disrupt the balance of beneficial gut bacteria. Additionally, it may thin the blood and could increase bleeding risk when combined with anticoagulant medications (such as warfarin). Pregnant or breastfeeding individuals should avoid medicinal doses due to insufficient safety data.

If you’re considering oregano oil supplements, quality and dosage matter. Look for products standardized to carvacrol content and manufactured by reputable companies that provide third-party testing. Capsules are generally safer than ingesting liquid essential oil directly, and essential oils should never be taken internally unless specifically formulated and labeled for that purpose. As with any supplement, especially if you have chronic health conditions or take medications, it’s wise to consult a healthcare provider. Oregano oil may offer real benefits—but like all powerful plant medicine, it deserves respect, not hype.

Sincerely,
KJ Landis
@superiorself on Instagram and X
@SuperiorSelf channel on YouTube
@superiorselfwithkjlandis on TikTok
[email protected]
Books available everywhere!

BibliographyForce, M., Sparks, W. S., & Ronzio, R. A. (2000). Inhibition of enteric parasites by emulsified oil of oregano in vivo. Phytotherapy Research, 14(3), 213–214.
Nostro, A., et al. (2007). Effects of oregano, carvacrol and thymol on Staphylococcus aureus and Staphylococcus epidermidis biofilms. Journal of Medical Microbiology, 56(4), 519–523.
Sharifi-Rad, M., et al. (2018). Biological activities of essential oils: From plant chemoecology to traditional healing systems. Molecules, 23(1), 70.
U.S. National Center for Complementary and Integrative Health (NCCIH). (n.d.). Herbs at a glance: Oregano. Retrieved from https://www.nccih.nih.gov/health/oregano

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Health Care, Sick Care, or No Care?

3/9/2026

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I learned the hard way that “having health insurance” does not mean having access to care. My loved one needed surgery—real surgery, not optional, not cosmetic, not something that could be delayed indefinitely. The first facility that could actually perform the procedure had the right equipment, the right surgical team, and the experience required. The surgeon was in network, but the facility was out of network. Coverage was approved and then 13 hours before the surgery, was denied. Full stop. This wasn’t health care. It wasn’t even sick care. It was no care.

Every facility within our insurance network lacked the surgical instruments required for his procedure—including the hospital where I work, which was technically approved, but physically incapable of doing the surgery. We weren’t being difficult; we were being factual. In the meantime, his surgeon instructed him to manage debilitating pain with ibuprofen and Tylenol taken around the clock, for months, while we waited in approval limbo. Not surprisingly, recent bloodwork now shows declining kidney function and anemia—collateral damage from being told to “manage” instead of being treated.

To add insult to injury, the insurance itself feels like a closed-loop experiment. My plan is the Employer Paid Option—the only one we can afford on my low hospital salary. The insurance company was created specifically for employees of the corporation that owns 11 hospitals up and down the California coast. Outside of this system, no one has heard of it. It’s a network designed to look comprehensive on paper while quietly limiting real-world access. The result? Patients and families trapped in a maze of yeses and nos, approvals and denials, referrals to surgeons who don’t even perform the specialty needed. (Read that last sentence again.)

The irony deepens when I think of my supervisor, who had eye surgery years ago—robotic, high-tech, performed at an out-of-network facility and preapproved. For three years afterward, she received bills. Collection agencies got involved. She made monthly phone calls, pulled in HR, and eventually even the CEO. She told me later it wasn’t about the money—it was the principle. That’s the part that lingers. When people who work inside hospitals have to fight this hard for care they were promised, the system isn’t broken—it’s functioning exactly as designed. And the cost isn’t just financial. It’s trust, health, and the quiet understanding that too often, care depends less on need and more on financial contracts.

So, what do we do now? How can we receive the true health care we humans deserve? I feel that we should first let the general public know, as in writing to the editors of newspapers, writing blogs like this one, and put your experiences on social media. Knowledge is power. Vote health care into action, real health care, preventive measures being rewarded, and then those in urgent need of sick care get their needs supplied, immediately. This, in my opinion, will improve accuracy, efficiency, and actually save the systems in place money, which can be used for true health education for the public.

Thank you,
KJ Landis
@superiorself on Instagram and X
@SuperiorSelf channel on YouTube
@superiorselfwithkjlandis on TikTok
[email protected]
Books available everywhere!

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Hey, Seniors, What's Your Schedule Look Like?

3/2/2026

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Keeping seniors active in their leisure life isn’t about packing every minute with exercise or hobbies—it’s about staying engaged with the world in ways that feel good. Whether it’s gardening, walking with friends, dancing, volunteering, or finally picking up that guitar, leisure activities give structure and joy to the day. That sense of purpose matters. When there’s something to look forward to, mornings feel brighter and days feel more meaningful. Structure has been an important part of our entire life, so when we are older, we find comfort in a structured day. It is familiar to us.

There’s also a strong social side to staying active that often gets overlooked. Many leisure activities naturally bring people together, and connection is a big deal as we age. Sharing a laugh at a book club, chatting during a swim class, or simply strolling with a neighbor can reduce feelings of isolation. Those small, regular interactions add up, supporting emotional well-being and helping seniors feel seen and valued. As a woman over 60, I feel invisible at times. When I am cut in line at the pet store, I feel unseen. If I say something to the line cutter, usually the response is, "Oh, I didn't see you." Typically, no apology is given.

From a longevity perspective, an active leisure life tends to support both body and mind. Gentle physical movement helps maintain strength, balance, and mobility, while mentally engaging activities keep the brain stimulated. Together, they can slow down some of the common declines associated with aging. It’s less about intensity and more about consistency—doing things regularly that keep the body moving and the mind curious. Consistency, is once again relative to the structure of one's day, week, month. We need structure. I am one of those people who still carry around a paper bound day planner for the year. It is the size of a paperback book. Remember those? I love to write down my future leisure activities, and plan my regular to-do list around my fun to-do list!

The real magic is that leisure doesn’t feel like “work.” It’s fun, flexible, and personal, which makes it easier to stick with over time. When seniors enjoy how they spend their free time, they’re more likely to stay active without pressure or guilt. And that enjoyment—paired with movement, connection, and purpose—can quietly support a longer, healthier, and more fulfilling life.

Are you over 60? What do you do for your leisure life? I want to hear from you!
Sincerely,
KJ Landis
@superiorself on Instagram and X
@SuperiorSelf channel on YouTube
@superiorselfwithkjlandis on TikTok
[email protected]
Books available everywhere!

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Grief is a Rollercoaster

2/23/2026

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Grief is not a straight line. It doesn’t move neatly from shock to sadness to acceptance like a checklist you complete and turn in. It loops, backtracks, surprises you in the cereal aisle, and shows up uninvited when you’re folding laundry or sitting at a red light. A few weeks ago, my mother-in-law passed away, and already I’ve learned that grief has its own weather system—sunny moments followed by sudden storms, often in the same hour.

Some days I feel functional, even okay. I answer emails, make plans, laugh at something dumb on TV. Then, without warning, a memory lands—her voice, a phrase she used, the way she showed love in small, practical ways—and the ground shifts. I savor her last voicemail, on New Year's Day she sent me lots of blessings and wishes. She has stayed up all night watching the celebrations from around the globe.

Other days are quieter but heavier, like carrying a backpack full of rocks I didn’t knowingly put on. There’s no rhythm to it. No timeline. Just waves. What makes grief especially strange is the way it coexists with life continuing on. The world doesn’t pause. Dishes still need washing. Birthdays still happen. People still ask, “How are you?”—and sometimes the honest answer feels too big for casual conversation. Loving someone who has died doesn’t end; it just changes form. The relationship doesn’t disappear—it becomes memory, influence, echo.

If you’re grieving, here’s the reminder I keep giving myself: you’re not doing it wrong. There is no “should.” There is only today. Grief isn’t something to get over or power through; it’s something to carry, set down, pick back up, and eventually learn how to walk with. Some days you’ll walk steadily. Some days you’ll sit on the floor and cry. Both count. Both are part of love.

Blessings,
KJ Landis
@superiorself on Instagram and X
@SuperiorSelf channel on YouTube
@superiorselfwithkjlandis on TikTok
[email protected]
Books available everywhere!

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When Wiping after Peeing Feels Like Sandpaper...

2/16/2026

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When Pee Feels Like Betrayal: Vaginal Dryness After 50

Let’s just say it out loud: nobody warned us that one day wiping after peeing would feel like broken glass wrapped in sandpaper. Somewhere after 50, estrogen quietly packs her bags, and suddenly your vaginal tissue is thinner, drier, and about as forgiving as cheap toilet paper. This isn’t “you being sensitive” — it’s a real medical condition called genitourinary syndrome of menopause (GSM), and it affects a lot of women. Dryness, burning, itching, pain with wiping, and that stinging-after-you-pee feeling are all part of the party no one RSVP’d to (Mayo Clinic).

Why This Happens (And Why You’re Not Broken)

Here’s the deal: estrogen keeps vaginal tissue plump, elastic, and well-lubricated. When levels drop during menopause, the tissue becomes fragile — tiny micro-tears can form, and urine touching those areas can feel like acid. Fun, right? Studies show that GSM affects the majority of postmenopausal women, yet many suffer in silence because no one told us this was a thing we could actually treat (AUA; PubMed). So if you’ve ever thought, “Is this normal?” — yes. But also no, you don’t have to live with it.

What Actually Helps (Spoiler: Suffering Is Not Required)

Here’s where it gets better. Research consistently shows that low-dose vaginal estrogen — creams, tablets, or rings — can dramatically improve dryness, irritation, and urinary discomfort, with minimal systemic absorption (PubMed). Translation: it works, and it’s generally safe for most women. Non-hormonal vaginal moisturizers and options like vaginal DHEA also help restore comfort and tissue health (AHRQ). The key word here is regular use — this isn’t a one-and-done situation, it’s skincare… just farther south.

Let’s Talk About It (Loudly, Please)

One reason this feels so isolating is because nobody talks about it — which is finally changing. Halle Berry has been refreshingly open about her menopause journey and created Respin Health to educate women and normalize these conversations (re-spin.com). The message? Menopause isn’t the end of comfort, intimacy, or dignity. If your vagina feels like it’s staging a protest, it’s time to advocate for yourself, talk to a clinician who gets it, and stop pretending this is just “part of aging.”

Have you any signs or symptoms? What have you tried to help yourself? I want to hear from you!
Sincerely,
KJ Landis
@superiorself on Instagram and X
@SuperiorSelf channel on YouTube
@superiorselfwithkjlandis on TikTok
[email protected]
Books available everywhere!

Bibliography

Mayo Clinic. Vaginal dryness after menopause: How to treat it.
https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/menopause/expert-answers/vaginal-dryness/faq-20115086
American Urological Association. Genitourinary Syndrome of Menopause Clinical Guidelines.
https://www.auanet.org/guidelines-and-quality/guidelines/genitourinary-syndrome-of-menopause
Kingsberg SA, et al. Efficacy and Safety of Vaginal Estrogen for GSM. PubMed.
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/30363010
Agency for Healthcare Research and Quality (AHRQ). Treatments for GSM: Systematic Review.
https://effectivehealthcare.ahrq.gov/products/genitourinary-syndrome/research
Respin Health, founded by Halle Berry.
https://www.re-spin.com

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Mental Illness and Substance Abuse: Which Comes First?

2/9/2026

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One of the most common — and emotionally charged — questions in mental health is whether mental illness or substance abuse comes first. Families want clarity. Clinicians want accuracy. Individuals want relief from blame. The truth is more nuanced than a simple cause-and-effect answer. Mental illness and substance use disorders often develop together, feeding into one another in a complex, self-reinforcing cycle. For some, emotional distress or psychiatric symptoms precede substance use. For others, drugs or alcohol initiate changes in the brain that lead to mental illness. And for many, both emerge from shared underlying roots.

In many cases, mental illness comes first. Anxiety, depression, PTSD, bipolar disorder, and ADHD can leave people feeling dysregulated, overwhelmed, or desperate for relief. Substances may initially appear to offer comfort, control, or escape — a phenomenon often called self-medication. Alcohol may quiet anxiety, opioids may numb emotional pain, and stimulants may temporarily improve focus or energy. Over time, however, tolerance develops, symptoms intensify, and what once felt like a solution becomes another source of suffering layered onto the original illness.

In other situations, substance use comes first. Certain drugs — especially alcohol, stimulants, and cannabis can trigger anxiety, depression, paranoia, or even psychosis. For some individuals, these symptoms fade with sustained sobriety. For others, substance use acts as a catalyst, activating an underlying vulnerability to serious mental illness that may have remained dormant otherwise. Genetics, age of first use, frequency, and potency all influence how substances interact with the brain and mental health over time.

Often, however, the question of “which came first” misses the larger picture. Mental illness and substance use frequently share common origins: trauma, chronic stress, loss, poverty, isolation, or adverse childhood experiences. Rather than viewing them as separate problems, research increasingly supports integrated, trauma-informed treatment that addresses both simultaneously. Healing happens not by assigning blame or sequencing symptoms, but by restoring safety, connection, coping skills, and hope. When we treat the whole person — not just the diagnosis — both mental health and substance use outcomes improve.

In my workplace, I am the Recreational Activity Coordinator in an Acute Geriatric Behavioral Unit of a hospital. These patients are ages 55 and older, with an acute variety of symptoms where they are a danger to themselves or others, or gravely disabled to the point where they cannot take care of their basic needs of food, shelter, clothing, or personal hygiene. They cannot contract for their own safety. My role is to holistically care for the patients in an activity-based manner. Through mind-body-spirit-intellect-emotion-creative activities, I teach and encourage patients to be partners with their health treatment plans. We practice different styles of coping techniques through everyday fun activities which build their abilities to take care of themselves better after the acute period of care.

Holistic and whole-patient-centered care is important for our most vulnerable folks in the community. My mentor keeps stating that activities are medicine. We have more leisure time when we retire. We definitely need purposeful and passionate pursuits as we age. Otherwise, there is a higher chance of abusing drugs and alcohol, committing crimes, and participating in unsafe sexual practices. I add that throughout one's whole life, we need purposeful and passionate pursuits.

In the recovery practices and in the mental illness world, the medication and meditation work together. The movement practices and the nutrition work together. Seeking out community and connection with a tribe of like-minded individuals serve both populations well, and, the populations can have the similar symptoms when in an acute state. At any age, trauma can trigger more intense symptoms in both populations.

We need to care more. We need to help more. We need to support more. Sometimes the lines between the two populations are blurred, and all of us in society can improve as a result of treating the whole person. Do you know somebody in your circle of love who is suffering with addictions or mental illness? What types of care are they receiving for their symptoms? I want to hear from you.

Sincerely,
KJ Landis
@superiorself on Instagram and X
@SuperiorSelf channel on YouTube
@superiorselfwithkjlandis on TikTok
[email protected]
Books available everywhere!

Bibliography:
~American Psychiatric Association. (2022). DSM-5-TR: Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (5th ed., text rev.). American Psychiatric Publishing.
~National Institute on Drug Abuse. (2023). Comorbidity: Substance Use Disorders and Other Mental Illnesses. NIDA. https://nida.nih.gov
~Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration. (2023). Substance Use and Mental Health Issues. SAMHSA. https://www.samhsa.gov
~Khantzian, E. J. (1997). The self-medication hypothesis of substance use disorders: A reconsideration and recent applications. Harvard Review of Psychiatry, 4(5), 231–244.
~Felitti, V. J., et al. (1998). Relationship of childhood abuse and household dysfunction to many leading causes of death in adults. American Journal of Preventive Medicine, 14(4), 245–258.

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A Sweeter Valentine's Day

2/2/2026

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Valentine’s Day is often synonymous with heart-shaped boxes of chocolate and sugary confections, but celebrating love doesn’t have to result in a sugar crash. By shifting the focus to nutrient-dense ingredients, you can create treats that feel indulgent while actually nourishing your body. Choosing whole foods like dark berries, raw cacao, and nuts allows you to enjoy the festive spirit of the holiday without the inflammation and energy dips associated with processed corn syrup and refined sugars.

One of the simplest ways to upgrade your dessert table is by leaning into the natural sweetness of fruit. Fresh strawberries or raspberries dipped in high-percentage dark chocolate (at least 70% cacao) provide a powerful punch of antioxidants and vitamin C. If you want something creamier, whipped coconut cream sweetened with a touch of vanilla bean makes for a decadent topping that is completely dairy-free and low-glycemic. These options satisfy the craving for a sweet finish while providing healthy fats and fiber.

For those who enjoy baking, swapping out traditional white flour for almond or coconut flour can transform your favorite recipes into heart-healthy alternatives. You can create "love bites" or energy truffles using a base of medjool dates, walnuts, and sea salt. These ingredients are packed with minerals like magnesium and potassium, which support heart health—a perfect theme for Valentine's Day. Adding a dash of beetroot powder can even give these treats a beautiful, naturally pink hue without the need for artificial food dyes.

Ultimately, reaching for your superior health means making choices that align with your long-term wellness goals, even during celebrations. When we choose treats that honor our biology, we have more radiant energy to share with those we love. This Valentine’s Day, try experimenting with "love and science married in spirituality" by preparing snacks that feed both your soul and your cells.

Here is a slightly bitter, sugar-free mousse that is a great way to enjoy deep chocolate flavors without the sugar crash. This recipe uses high-percentage dark chocolate and cacao powder to achieve that sophisticated bitterness.
3-Ingredient Slightly Bitter Dark Chocolate MousseThis version leans into a rich, dark profile by using 85% dark chocolate and minimal sweetener.
Ingredients:

Dark Chocolate: 50 grams of 85% dark chocolate (such as Lindt 85% or Lily's sugar-free 85%).
Whipping Cream: 200 ml of heavy whipping cream (or chilled full-fat coconut cream for a dairy-free option).
Unsweetened Cocoa/Cacao Powder: 1 tablespoon for an extra hit of bitterness.
Optional: A pinch of sea salt, cinnamon, or 1/4 teaspoon of instant espresso powder to further enhance the chocolate's depth. Also optional is raw cacao nibs for a texture surprise that makes us go, "Mmmmmmm, good!"

Instructions:

Melt the Base: Gently melt the dark chocolate in 30-second intervals in the microwave until smooth, then let it cool for a few minutes.
Whip the Cream: In a separate chilled bowl, whip the heavy cream (or coconut cream) until soft peaks form.
Combine: Sift in the cocoa powder and add the melted chocolate. Gently fold the mixture together until smooth and uniform.
Chill: Spoon the mousse into ramekins and refrigerate for at least 1–2 hours to allow the texture to set.

Tips for a Deeper, Bitter Flavor

Use Dutch-Processed Cocoa: This type of cocoa has a more intense, dark flavor that pairs perfectly with high-percentage chocolate.
Add Espresso: A small amount of instant coffee or espresso won't make it taste like coffee but will make the chocolate taste significantly darker and more complex.
Sweetener Control: Start with no added sweetener; if it is too bitter for your liking, add a few drops of liquid stevia or a teaspoon of powdered monk fruit at the very end.

Think of some of your favorite sweet treats that you can make this Valentine's Day without sugar. Experiment and let me know how it went! I want to hear from you!
Blessings,
KJ Landis
@superiorself on Instagram and X
@SuperiorSelf channel on YouTube
@superiorselfwithkjlandis on TikTok
[email protected]
Books available everywhere!

4 Comments

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A Sweeter Valentine's Day

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